The technological evolution had a significant impact not just on domains such as industry or research. It had a more subtle one on the psychological, thus the emotional side of the human being. It penetrated the human’s inherent vice of having feelings. People use online dating apps to find their other half. Somehow, although in our days you can travel, you move a lot, people you meet along the way are not satisfying enough. Neither are you for them.
Why do we choose online dating apps?
It’s harder for us today to find the means to engage with another human being if the process has to be done the old way — by genuinely interacting with one another. “Truly” means without the help of the new matchmaker that helps us hide and pretend to be not who we are, but who we find interesting to be — the computer. Oh, sorry, that’s old too! It’s more likely to search the man or woman of our dreams the way we look for shoes, by scrolling the touchscreen of our phone.
It’s hard to look at someone and integrate the right things with the not so goon ones. We need to make the second ones disappear. And since we can’t, we’ll look for someone who can. Another one just like me, putting his Sunday clothes and attitude on a dating site. There, we can be whoever we want, the flawless human being who finds the prince or princess charming.
We become judgmental when we think about arranged marriages back in the old days. But how is looking for one online any different? It’s not our parents who decide who’s the matching party, and that is us. But the process jumps the same step: the feeling we have when we first meet. When we encounter an online date, we already know each other, and we have feelings. We have feelings for what we know, not for the other one. Like in any different kind of lottery, we might win. But it is still like betting and winning the lottery.
It’s bizarre how we can fall in love online, before even seeing her or him. What we don’t realize is that we fall for a projection, not a real human being — A projection that fulfills everything we ever dreamed of. Just like when we were teenagers, and we fell for Tristan in “Legends of the fall.” We could swear that we loved Brad Pitt. We even dreamt we would marry and have children with him. But as adults, we should know that we were falling for a projection.
A study on online dating apps shows their downside
A new study, dedicated to online dating scrutiny on websites such as Match.com, eHarmony, and Tinder, says that over three in ten Americans have engaged in online dating. The Pew Research Center conducted the study. It came up with several takeaways saying that the majority of the users think online dating instead of harmed dating and relationships.
The American adults who participated in the study consider that online relationships are less successful than relationships that begin by naturally meeting someone. 46% of the subjects said online dating sites and apps as unsafe.
The look is an essential aspect of an online dating profile. Still, 39% of people who used them entered into a committed relationship or marriage. The right parts of online dating are that it helps people meet others outside of their regular network, it allows evaluating people before meeting them, and it makes it easier to meet people.
But online dating apps also help people misrepresent themselves and scam people. It makes it easier for people to lie, to set up spam accounts, or to engage in other illicit behavior. Receiving unwanted sexually explicit messages and images is not a risk you should be exposed when you are looking for the loved one, and online dating has this risk.
The lack of personal and emotional connection of the process should become the trigger to try and see the people around you in the real world. Isn’t personal and emotional contact what you are looking for there? The new study concluded that online dating apps are not ideal when you search for your better half.
As our second lead editor, Suzanne Fisher provides guidance on the stories Tech Life reporters cover. She has been instrumental in making sure the content on the site is clear and accurate for our readers. If you see a particularly clever title, you can likely thank Suzanne. Suzanne received a BA and MA from Fordham University.